Your contentment as a couple can get better by using a bit of a dialogue process I call Equality. It's a serious process, but it feels game-like to some. Couples usually feel comfortable with it.
To begin each partner takes five similar pieces of paper and writes a word on each of them. Each piece of paper will contain one word. Each word will be different from the other. Then the pieces of paper are folded and put in a bag or some other container. Later, one piece of paper will be drawn from the container and read aloud.
The words are best if they relate in some way to your relationship. However, it is not necessary that they do so. Words like: baby, father, sex, wife, play, relationship, work, money, fun or any other words you choose are okay.
Partner one draws one of the ten pieces of folded paper from the container and gives it to partner two to read. Partner two reads the word and partner one takes about a minute to say what he/she is reminded of by it. Partner one can say what he or she feels about the word or may define it. After partner one takes a minute to talk about the word (its good to use a timer), partner two talks about the word or about what partner one has said about the word. After partner two talks for a minute its time for partner one to talk for another minute. They continue talking by turns of a minute each until they have nothing more to say about the word at the time. Then partner two draws a word and gives it to partner one to read and they continue as before.
It is usually good to set a time limit of between twenty minutes and a hour. It is better to set a limit that is too short rather than too long. One session may be fun, but it takes five or six or more to be really helpful.
Remember to talk about the word that is drawn and never about each other.
Be kind, play fair, and be honest. BE HONEST.
Let me know how it is working out.
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