Way to Talk

It seems to me that we can benefit from learning a more productive way to talk about that which is important to us.

If you were here I'd ask you to help me name various ways of talking.

Debate is one of them. I think of it as a bit like war. One important aim of debate is winning. The idea seems to be to best an opponent. Producing a win is not the kind of production which interests me here.

My aim in the kind of talk which interests me here is to better understand those with whom I converse. I want to understand them and their views on a deeper level. I want a better understanding of their values and assumptions. I want to better appreciate how they feel about it. I want to be clear about what it is.

I also want to be understood and appreciated.

Debate does not seem to be the best vehicle for such understanding.

Chat is another kind of talk. Chat may go on without dealing with views, values, or assumptions.

Conversation is a great kind of talk and I enjoy it greatly. However, our conversation may not deal well with strongly felt differences, and can lead to argument. Arguments may turn to debate or to verbal fight.

Discussion seems, like conversation, to be  kind of talk between chat and debate. Discussion seems to tend toward persuasion. It often includes the intent to persuade.

The purpose of of the kind of talk which interests me here is about persuasion. The way of talking which interests me here is not about persuasion. I am not interested in persuading or in being persuaded.

My purpose is to to understand and to, perhaps, be understood.

I have been calling this way to talk dialogue